GIVE ME THERAPY, I'M A WALKING TRAVESTY.

twentythree y.o. geographer, barista, yoga practitioner. University College London. born and bred in the lil' island of Singapore. constantly searching for answers. extremely flawed, especially when it comes to imposing standards on others, expecting too much, not knowing when to close her mouth (to shut the fuck up or to stop eating). too crazy for her own good and has to be taken with a massive handful of salt. adores backpacking, hitch-hiking, hill-walking, red wine, whiskey, cocktails, fine food and good conversations.
REMINDER:
"open your heart. someone will come. someone will come for you. but you'd have to open your heart first."


© Uni* template by ohfudge!

Tuesday, June 17, 2014
◔ 5:24 PM // ✎ 0 comment(s)		❝ Helplessness ❞

I'm not gonna lie. I haven't been great recently - and it must be evident from my lack of updates on social media. I kept quiet, I still am keeping quiet but... I guess it's always times like these that you start to appreciate the people around you more.

I cannot imagine how hard it must be to be my boyfriend right now - to have a girlfriend that complains of discomfort from time to time, or worse, cry uncontrollably every 3 minutes or so. Oisin has been so incredibly patient with me ;_; even when I woke up and walked in and out of the room, crawled in and out of bed probably about 20 times last night. Given that he is a light sleeper, this must have been extremely disruptive (and it doesn't help that he has... god 12 hours of work today?). I feel incredibly sorry and terrible and I really wish I could do something about it; I really do.

Helplessness. Probably one of the worst feelings on earth - and exactly what I am feeling right now. Results will only be out on Friday afternoon, and then it can be revealed as to whether I am getting the right treatment now, or that I have to start from square one come Tuesday morning (my next appointment). Does not help that I am leaving to backpack Spain on the 26th, and I really really do want to get better by then. I don't want to be crawling around a foreign country, in pain and with no idea what to do.

--Update: spent hours mucking around - tried to read but then my head and eyes hurt, but then couldn't sleep / drifted into light naps only to be woken up 20 minutes later. I haven't felt this alone in a really long time. Alone, helpless and just crossing my fingers.




 
"It was a million tiny things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together... and I knew it."

Labels: