twentythree y.o. geographer, barista, yoga practitioner. University College London. born and bred in the lil' island of Singapore. constantly searching for answers. extremely flawed, especially when it comes to imposing standards on others, expecting too much, not knowing when to close her mouth (to shut the fuck up or to stop eating). too crazy for her own good and has to be taken with a massive handful of salt. adores backpacking, hitch-hiking, hill-walking, red wine, whiskey, cocktails, fine food and good conversations.
REMINDER:
"open your heart. someone will come. someone will come for you. but you'd have to open your heart first."
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| Thursday, March 28, 2013
◔ 2:45 PM // ✎ 0 comment(s) | ❝ Independent Living ❞ |
Back here again cause I require space to think.
I am glad I took the plunge to go into "Independent Living" since IB has ended. Which means on top of paying the bills that I have paid the past few years, I now pay for EVERYTHING except for lodging. My food, transport fare and stuff without the additional assistance of my parents.
It has been a stressful experience, and it was the first time my bad money spending habits came to light. I have always been someone that cared little about my spending when I felt like it - some months I will scrimp and save my life away and then when I feel like it I will SPLURGE it. Especially on shopping and food. One shopping trip can set me back a few hundred dollars.
I am glad I never had to care about money the past few years, but now that I actually have to, it makes me appreciate my parents more. I am blessed to have a solid family that can support me through school without me worrying. Moreover, my parents both agreed steadfastly when I asked if it was ok that I did not take a scholarship because I do not want to be bonded. They even joked that I am already under the "FMS" - Father Mother Scholarship.
Thank you Daddy and Mummy, so very much. This is a line that I can type but I honestly cannot say out to them. Shy? I have no idea, guess it has never been a family habit to be mushy to each other.
Anyways back to topic about Independent Living - my finances are currently in a very very very bad state. Today my card got rejected when I was attempting to buy a gift for my brother. It was the second time I had a card rejected (the last time was in Japan, when I spent past my credit limit when I bought a camera). I panicked, and it did not help that my phone's battery was low. A phone call to the bank, and a check on the UOB mobile app and I got a shock. I only had $100 of available balance??? (A later check revealed that I had more money in my account, just that it is not available for god-knows-what reason).
I was absolutely stressed. Stressed because I still had a social life to uphold (translate: eating and going out with friends) and I had three upcoming overseas trips (Thailand in April, Hongkong in May and Bali in June). I was going to Malaysia this Sunday to boot.
For now, I will take a loan from my own savings and then pay back when I get my pay from working at Kraze Burger, which will be on the 5th of this month. I am tired, tired of stressing about money and tired of upholding my current lifestyle. I feel like just digging into all my red packet money so that I can lead a carefree life, but...
I am thinking about my future, of what sort of job I can get if I want to uphold my current lifestyle. I will also have to pay my parents back for all the money the spent on me to boot and that debt, especially the non-monetary aspects of it, will never be repaid.
I am tired. I have been cutting down on shopping and saving. I am not even spending money on all my food and snacks and bubble tea and all that shit that I used to spend daily on.
I am tired. However, I am glad this lesson came early. It came before I was a grown up and I no longer had space to make such mistakes anymore. I have learnt.
Looking on the bright side, my finances will be fine after my pay day on the 5th. I will learn from this month, and I will start anew next month. To think about how I wanted to by the Q10, and another Candy Bag. It is alright, I can live without these items. Money will now only be spent when absofuckinglutely necessary.
FIGHTING! (what a positive end to an otherwise depressing post, eh? This is probably one of my most honest posts ever).Labels: random, thoughts
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