twentythree y.o. geographer, barista, yoga practitioner. University College London. born and bred in the lil' island of Singapore. constantly searching for answers. extremely flawed, especially when it comes to imposing standards on others, expecting too much, not knowing when to close her mouth (to shut the fuck up or to stop eating). too crazy for her own good and has to be taken with a massive handful of salt. adores backpacking, hitch-hiking, hill-walking, red wine, whiskey, cocktails, fine food and good conversations.
REMINDER:
"open your heart. someone will come. someone will come for you. but you'd have to open your heart first."
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| Sunday, May 26, 2013
◔ 6:12 PM // ✎ 0 comment(s) | ❝ Love at First Sight ❞ |
It was the first time ever. I saw him and immediately felt the adrenaline rush in me, the need to keep staring at him, the willingness to forgo all of my pride / face / rationality and approach him.
Despite not knowing who he is, and being well aware of the fact that he was a foreigner who will not be here for long (and of course all the cultural and language barriers that that constituted), I was glued and intrigued by him.
I was staring at him. He was barely a metre away and it felt as though if I had just stretched out my hand and r e a c h e d, I could have touched him.
My eyes followed his movements, up and down the side of the stage where he was checking and setting up equipment and instruments. I immediately fished out my phone, and with no care for the abysmal amount of juice left in it, I started taking photos of him. Literally paparazzing him.
I mentioned to Yiyi that I thought he was cute and she agreed with me. I proposed that when he was free I would approach him for a photo and she was to take a photo of us. She declined (objected, rather) and said that I should not throw her face. Meh :(
He then disappeared to the other side of the stage over the duration of flumpool's performance. Thank god though, that he came back afterwards. He was in a mad rush, packing and packing and checking for things and when he finally could take a break, he seemed so tired that I did not want to haunt him for a photo. And then he left.
My heart dropped, my mind brooding over my missed opportunity to take a photo with him.
The showcase ended and Yiyi and I went our separate ways. Yiyi though, mentioned that if she saw him she would tell me.
And guess what? She fucking fucking did. First she saw him at 7 Eleven - she was thirsty and needed a drink, and evidently so did he. She said that he had a group of girls approaching him and asking for his name. The moment I heard the news, I was distraught that I missed another opportunity, sending out rage tweets laced with f words that I love using so much hehe. (sorry, I admit that I am vulgar)
And Yiyi called me again saying that he was outside Shanghai Dolly. I immediately did a 180 degree turn and ran across Clarke Quay (exaggeration) to Shanghai Dolly. It took me much effort and sweat to find it but YES YES YES I DID FIND IT AND THERE HE WAS OUTSIDE SHANGHAI DOLLY, SMOKING WITH HIS FRIENDS.
WITHOUT THINKING, I WENT UP TO HIM AND TAPPED HIS SHOULDER (ON HINDSIGHT I AM HOPING THAT I DID NOT WHACK HIM OUT OF EXCITEMENT OR SOMETHING).
"SORRY CAN I TAKE A PHOTO WITH YOU?"
YIYI SAID THAT HE HAD AN ABSOLUTELY SHOCKED EXPRESSION BUT OF COURSE I WAS HYPERVENTILATING SO FUCKING BADLY THAT I WAS NOT AWARE OF THAT, JUST AWARE OF HOW HARD MY HEART WAS THUMPING.
HE IMMEDIATELY STUBBED OUT HIS CIGARETTE THAT HE BARELY SMOKED (OMG SO FUCKING NICE) AND HE SAID "SURE".
ONCE AGAIN, ACCORDING TO YIYI HIS FRIENDS WERE LAUGHING REALLY REALLY HARD AT HOW SHOCKED HE WAS BUT OBVIOUSLY I DID NOT GIVE A DAMN LIKE HELLO I WAS IN MY OWN WORLD WITH HIM.
I POSED, MY HAND SHOOTING UP INTO MY REGULAR V SIGN. SEEING THIS, HE DID THE SAME THING. (OH GOD SO FUCKING ADORABLE AGAIN PLEASE)
FIRST PHOTO WAS TOO DARK, RETOOK ANOTHER WITH FLASH (IN THE END THE FIRST PHOTO WAS BETTER, THE SECONDARY WAS BLURRY).
I BOWED AND BOWED AND BOWED AND SAID THANK YOU.
"MAY I KNOW YOUR NAME PLEASE?"
"SOUTA,".
"OH, NICE TO MEET YOU! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!"
MORE BOWING BEFORE WALKING OFF AND LAUGHING SO LOUDLY BECAUSE I WAS OVER THE FUCKING MOON.
I WAS REALLY SO HAPPY THAT I COULD DIE HAPPY IT FELT AS THOUGH I JUST FULFILLED THE BIGGEST BIGGEST WISH OF MY LIFE. SIGH.
IMMEDIATELY AFTER THAT CAME THE FML MOMENT - WHY DIDN'T I ASK HIM FOR HIS NUMBER OR HIS EMAIL OR HIS LINE FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
FUCK. FIONA YOU ARE DAMN FUCKING STUPID I SWEAR WHY DID YOU NOT REMEMBER SUCH A FUCKING SIMPLE THING.
Spent my night thinking about what I could have done better. Regretting, but at the same time, elated that I had the honor of having a photo with him.
The next evening, my darling daughter sent me a photo of him checking in. Then came the whole torrent of fucks in my brain again, regret of not going to the airport to send him off and see the last of him.
I was utterly depressed but I guess my rationality allowed me to pull through. Still fucking crazy and deluded though, the thought of him still can make me spazz Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ
And although I probably will never ever see him again, he will definitely be my first ever (and very likely the last ever) love (haha ok not really, more like fangirl :P) at first sight.
Who'd think that such impossible and unlikely things would ever happen?
Thank you, for changing my perspective on the world. Thank you, for making my day (and the few days after that). You will always be remembered.
Labels: daily, love, thoughts
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