Maybe what you don’t realize, at the other end of the world, is your girlfriend crying while speaking to you. Because she misses you, because she really wants to hear your voice and know how you are doing. And she’s crying - she’s crying because all she has left of you are the memories you’ve once shared, those glorious days that feel like a distant past, together with words on the screen that you send to her from time to time. She just wants to hear your voice, to feel like you’re actually there again – that pillar that she could always look towards for support in times of doubt, of desperation, of uncertainty. Gingerly, she picks up her phone. Dials. Waits. Excitedly, enthusiastically, for the ringing to stop. All the while telling herself, “don’t expect anything, don’t expect anything cause you may be disappointed.”

The ringing doesn’t stop. Her heart sinks, despite all the mental preparation she has put in. Then she starts to worry, “am I being a crazy desperate girlfriend by calling him? Will he be irritated to see all the texts and phone calls that I have literally bombarded him with?”

She pushes the thoughts out of her head.

Hours pass. It’s bed time on your side of the world. Instinctively, she wants to try again, but her rational mind screams – “stupid girl why can’t you stop bothering him? What if he finds you too irritating and decides to leave you? Can you seriously not? Get a grip on reality.” Her fingers, posed and prepared at her key pad. She ponders, pacing the room, then walks away, acting as though she has a destination in mind.

She finally decides to take a leap of faith. She dials again – having memorized the 11 digits by heart through constant reiteration. Muscle memory, they say. The heart is a muscle too.

It rings. It rings.

She can feel her heart sinking, bit by bit; regret flooding in while she berates herself for being stupid, immature and naïve again.

The ringing stops.

“Hello?”

And the world is perfect again.

-----------------------------------

“I know you have your complaints, but he really does truly care for you”

“We both know how bad he is in keeping in touch, but the fact that he’s actually bothering to do so speaks a lot for how much he cares.”

“He thinks of you as the best thing that has ever happened to him. I will not go into the details of his ex-girlfriends, but you are the most normal one…. Look at him, he’s intelligent, he’s way beyond Oxford or Cambridge. What is he doing at SOAS?”

“I know you have your complaints, but he is the most loyal person. I will never do anything disloyal towards him.”